There is a fable from Aesop about the Miller, his son and his ass. The fable talks about how the Miller tries to please everyone and in the end loses his donkey. The moral of the story is that if you try to please everyone, you will lose everything. We often think too hard about what decision is the ‘right’ one and what the ‘wrong’ one is.
How can we tell if what we are doing is ‘right’?
Once we manage to make a decision, after much deliberation, we then tend to regret that decision and think that we would have been better off with the other option. After all, hindsight is 20/20. There’s a lot of uncertainty and regret when it comes to decision making in life, regardless of how big or small those decisions are.
I have found a way that makes it easier for me to determine what is ‘right’ and accept the consequences that may arise as a result of making that decision. This works for me so it might help all of you.
Before making any decision I ask myself 2 questions:
1 – Am I coming from a place of love?
2 – Will this make me happy?
I try to do things from a place of love and let the consequences take care of themselves. I may do something out of self-love or love for others. I am trying to focus more on self-love but both points of views are valid in my opinion. The idea is that if you come from a place of love, you know that the intention of your decisions are coming from a good place. Therefore, whatever decision you make, you have made with good intentions. For some of you that may not be important, but for me it is.
The means matter more than the ends.
If I can see this decision making me happy then I am going to take that decision. Happiness is achieved by doing something that resonates with you at an inner level. Obviously, things will not go the way you intend for them to go BUT as long as you keep that in mind and focus on the journey rather than the end goal then you’ll be happier.
The idea is to find happiness in the pursuit of your goals and not in your goals.
While making any decision it is important to remind yourself that you have made this decision to the best of your ability with the information that you had at that time. You need to be content with the decision you have made and be willing to accept all the consequences. You need to realise that you can only control your own actions. If you have given it your best shot then that’s all that matters. Whatever happens past your control happens.
Surrendering yourself to this mentality will help you be more content and at peace. It will focus your attentions on things that will matter and before you know it you’ll be in a place that you had never envisioned.
Think about it.
5 years ago, even a couple of months ago, no one would have thought that we’d be in the midst of a pandemic. The whole world has been affected. Yet here we are. Do we have any control? To a certain extent yes. We can choose how to spend all this free time that we have suddenly found. We can choose to follow health guidelines and protect ourselves and others. We can choose to put ourselves in the gloom and doom mindset where we focus on all the negatives, where we focus on how we can’t go out and meet our friends. Regardless of what you do the fact that we are in this pandemic will not change. Therefore, why focus on what we have no control over. Why don’t we focus on what is within our control.
Life is always bliss. It all depends on how you choose to direct your energy and focus.
These things will help you develop a sense of self-love as well. When you make decisions that are in line with your true self then you are able to be happier.
How do you know what resonates with your true self?
You experience life and enjoy it. Listen to your feelings and life will guide you.