Words have power. When, used properly, can convey the message from the speaker to the listener. However, things get complicated when you tie words to emotions. When you try to describe a feeling with words. It’s hard to translate that into a verbal dictionary. That experience, that emotion is more than just a couple of words. The spoken word is so limited that it cannot be used to fully express an emotion. There will be a difference in the actual emotion and the words being used to describe it.
I don’t know why but I feel hurt today. A friend said something to me and while I am fairly confident it was a joke, it just hurt. I feel like the words used were unnecessary and uncalled for. It felt like that person took the opportunity to hit me in front of the rest of the squad. Had this been in private or in a smaller group I wouldn’t have minded. However, this was in front of everyone. I normally dish out jokes and can take a hit as well. For some reason this felt personal.
That’s the problem with texts and words. The context is lost. The tone is lost. Messages can be easily misinterpreted. Again, I am fairly certain this person said what they said as a joke. I have chosen to understand it as an attack on me that was unnecessary and that has hurt me. If this was a conversation in real life the tone of voice would’ve conveyed the message more accurately. It would’ve been a different setting.
Besides being hurt you then start to doubt yourself. Do you confront this person and ask them if everything is ok? Does that make you look petty? Does that make you look like a wimp who can’t take a joke? I know my feelings are valid because I am experiencing it. How do I deal with this? How do you deal with it? I would love to know. The problem is once you confront them you know that things will change. They won’t be the same again.
I guess I’m just a bit sensitive at the moment. We normally tend to ask ourselves why but I have been trying to stray away from that. Does anybody ask why the tree grows? No. It grows for that is its nature. We ask “how does a tree grow?” or “what does a tree do to grow?” I need to dive deep and see what triggered this response. How can I deal with this response? Then maybe I can ask why I felt triggered at the joke.
My initial instinct is to just ask the person the intent and to avoid any miscommunications but I don’t know why I’m hesitant to do that this time.
I don’t really know what the point of this post is. I guess I just had to get this out so that I may be able to sleep. Whether I do fall asleep or stay up all night thinking about it I do not know. We shall see what happens. There’s no fancy picture or quote for this one. I just wanted to get this out of my system.
I’d love to hear if any of you have gone through something similar and how you dealt with it.